Monday, November 13, 2006

A Bit of Levity from my Brother in the South

The following joke is an equal opportunity offender -- let's see who has the least sense of humor:

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test
that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the
following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a
Glock 40 cal, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he
reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out
of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is the is street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends
for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that thing to the Taxidermist!"

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